Through the Plans: Pheonix's Tear

我找不到中文在哪

A really interesting concept for a game! I'd love to know if you have any other projects you plan on working on in the future

The images are AI Generated. Is it not? 🤨

Hello, Yellow_Chocobo, I think your game is very interesting, and if you are willing, we would like to try to translate this demo into Chinese to let more people know about this gamehello，

Too bad it's SFW

What is password at the start

I saw the wolf i clicked instantly 😜

I like your use of the second person narrative style，It's rare.

Will there be more to follow? I'm curious about the world you've built.

This game, Hmm... Not bad ig.

Theme and logic&story route wasn't bad for sure. Let's say it's good start for story for now.

I'm not picky so long android can access. in my opinion, try to make some back up past or something for reliable story. Vn password have their storyline prepared so it attract people.

Just find your storyline that can pickup and won't interfere with present.

This should be enough for vn.

Simply don't give up.

Remember it's vn not some porn game for ma****b**e at least for now.

Like i said to other game comment, I'm horny for that type of game but i will not stop or avoid play game like this for technical reasons or author mistake.

If you can't access bc platform it will be different.

hey, buddy!

Are you're doing well? Hope those harsh words in other comments didn't get to you too much.

Let's start this long text comment with some sweetness you deserve:

You did well

You are great in telling a story

And thanks for not letting this wonderful work down to the trash can!

Despite there are so many furry VNs spoiling readers now, creating a vn never becomes a easy job. The story, writing, bgm, sprite, cgs, and etc.. Its impossible for a single person to get those things well done even with 24hr/7day working schedule, let alone you have your heavy school things right now. The language is necessary but sadly not the first priority issue. (Trust me, I have read some ultimately confusing vns written in my native language.) You have been fighting so long all by yourself for making this vn real without any other help and supports, just your passion. Simply this fact alone is more than enough earn yourself a applause.

You have a hug from this fan if you need :)

And here comes my real and honest comments. Don't worry, its not bad :)

***spoiler***

First and important, I am not native English user, but I don't have problems understanding your words. The language comprehension process influenced by both the reader's and the writer's native language, yet hiring a professional editor is too luxury for most creator…

As mentuoned before, it inevitable but not the first priority to optmise your English writing ifbyou got the time or resourses. At least you are writing in English by yourself instead of translating with software and just copy-paste it, you're already better than many others.

Second, I don't know whether it's proper or not if you use the picture with store logo… I'm not critcizing, but only worrying if this would get yourself some troubles.

The music, font and UI was ok, but here's some opinion about the story:

The password scene was kind of popping out of nowhere. It's a easy one for me since I happened liked the song and paiting 'starry night' and he is quite famous, but that knowledge still count as a bit profession-wise infomations. Maybe considering add the puzzle theme in the tags and describtion of itchio page, or adding some compensation like add calling the boss for answer as an extra option once you have tried the wrong password. Trying narrowing down the puzzle field to a simply logic one is still recommended, unless you are identify your target readers to some specific ones.

And that scene brings a another thought: why the owner put the money in the vault and bothered put hints around it? Wouldn't that fitting common sense more if owner just pay mc later tomorrow, or handed to mc before left since he seemed trust mc enough without doubting mc might just grab the money and go?

But

If the owner is some kind of  detective maniac and love to make his employee doing some puzzles before getting payment, then this is a great and intresting way to introduce the charactor lol.

The deliver dude…I think she is the most well-written charactor, the body language and how she interact with mc successfully impress me as a experienced underworld sly guy, but leave a warning in the end showing a little kindness in the corner of her heart.

And the spooky scene…

well, that's new and cute I'm gonna say, though I can't help but think that "mc already know this old trick of Ford, yet act as like totally new to this" is kind of off to me. Maybe there's a perfect way to plot this, but it is already a great one now.

By the way, did you draw Ford's sprite? I like it very much! He's my type XD

Sadly, from this point on, the story telling feels like in a rush. From the conversation between mc snd Ford, I can tell they are good friends now, but if there's more words put into elaborating their careness to each other would be great. Like:add some concerning eyes or lonelyness in the tone when Ford complaining why mc left him alone a week, or tilt his head when Ford unable to understand the revive mechanism, or wagging tail when Ford succed the scaring trick, or a wet eyes after knowing all the efforts of months are for his second chance...etc.

(yes, this is a furry vn, so readers love the twiching ears and wagging tail, the more the merrier lol)

You did very well when describing Ford's reviving process and steping out scenes, so I guess the lack parts are due to your situation of not being able to continue this vn. I am really sorry for your struggle, it is a good start of a good story, yet the time and resources are so little...

Last but most important, please make Ford top lol

(OK I'm just kidding, unless……?)

I guess that's all I could think of right now. I really enjoyed my time reading this vn, I sincerely hope you could also feel proud and happy when think of this achievement some day in the future, no matter you are going to finish this or not.

Have a good life, too, Chocobo-san 😉

The premise for this vn is really interesting! Resurrecting your ghostly friend through an illegal item called the "Phoenix Tear". I can just imagine all the possibilities you could do with that. Like how the friend will react to the modern world (depending on how long they've been a ghost they could freak out a lot). Or if the friend needs a new ID since his death certificate has certainly been signed by now. A whole lots of possibilities.

Now for some of the other stuff. The password part I really didn't get, mostly because I was focusing on the part where MC mentions "18XX" or something like that. And thought the numbers were a part of the password some how.

Overall I had fun with this vn! Hope to see more of it!

Got around to try and read this after having downloaded it yesterday.

I’ve gotten a dozen sentences in before giving up on it because of the shoddy english. I understand that a few mistakes can slip through sometimes, but a typo in the second word of the novel and stuff like “Finally you unlocks the door […]” just a few sentences in turn me off completely.

I’m not putting in the time to read something that even the writer seems to not have cared enough about to proofread.

heeey!! I only wanted to say that this game has a lot of potential, both characters are pretty good, and I already love Ford so much. I dont really know if there will be more updates or not, but either way I should congratulate you for all your hard work and pretty story! So thanks for this!

So.... What's the password? 

Since it's 7 digits is a lot especially when there is a "vg" maybe if it's not just numbers 

Small update: I have 0 clue 

Another smaller one: I don't even know if I on the right track 

I just checked the pictures from the game...... I guess you really just given up with the game 

Well I finished and I can't really give a great judge on it personally it was so short, but it's a interesting abandoned project for sure just like the Invitation and just like the Invitation it's just cancelled... What a shame but I think the writing was okay the pictures where a bit too basic but since it's a cancelled project I don't really care and Ford.... He is a cute and I love this art style it's so simple yet good looking 

Since you planning to stay here and get motivated I will try to check on your account from time to time but this novel right here is only can be continued as: How Ford trying to rejoin as a "Physical being" and upon choices (like two routes) there would be a one where he can't thank William enough for resurrecting him and another where he breaks down and realise sadness and depression (he starts to see the real life) and he just wants to stay with William because that's where he feels safe and over time he regains some (or all) of his confidence 

It's ain't a great base for a novel but isn't that bad, try to consider my ideas maybe you can get some inspiration from it, it's up to you to make it happen and maybe you can make it great 

"Like a wall" -Trump 

screenshots not taken when the game is in full screen are such a pet peeve of mine…